Hey,friends,welcome to our step by step.I’m your old friend Emily.Today we are going to talk about an phenomenon when making friends.
你们会找什么样的人做朋友呢？Ask any random collection of strangers what they look for in a friend, and you'll get pretty similar answers: someone who's fun to be around. Someone who shares your sense of humor. Someone you can trust.But often, friendship begins long before any of those things can come to light.
According to a study, around 60% of men and half of women believe in love at first sight; whatever you call it, a spark, chemistry or friendship at first sight, it can happen in just a small handful of seconds.和爱情一样，友情也会一见钟情。
As Karla Starr noted in Psychology Today, the posterior cingulate cortex also helps us weigh decisions and assign value to objects; we go through a very similar process with humans.后扣带回同样帮助我们权衡决策以及为对象分配价值，我们人类经历了一个非常类似的过程。我们大脑总是会进行各种各样的分析判断。
"And after we've assigned a value to a person, we make the decision about how to orient ourselves to that person," she wrote. "Do we want to get closer? Knowing what this person's value is to us, do we want this person to be involved in our network?"要不要继续发展这段友谊呢？我们的价值观合得来吗？
The answer is actually a compilation of several smaller judgments, explains Kelly Campbell, a psychology professor at California State University, San Bernardino.
"What are the things we care about in a friend? We care about someone who's going to be fun, that we can enjoy ourselves with. You need emotional support, social support, you want then to be loyal and trustworthy, you don't want to feel judged," she says.
"When you first see the person, you don't realize how many judgments you're making, but you're actually gathering information that's telling you if this person fills those needs for you."
Last year, Campbell headed up a study in The Social Science Journal on "friendship chemistry," which she and her colleagues defined as "an instant connection between friends that is easy and makes the relationship seem natural."
The study found those who scored higher on the personality traits of agreeableness, openness, and conscientiousness were more likely to experience friendship chemistry.
That’s all for today’s step by step.I’m the broadcaster Emily 陈燕集, with the director
李卓轩.Thanks for your listening.See you next time~